One week ago I found myself heading to the Emergency Room. There was some swelling on my thigh and it had become very painful to walk. Or stand. Or even to sit in a natural position. Turned out to be an abscess that was infected eight ways from Sunday.
Based on my experience, I have the following recommendations:
- Avoid hospitalization. It is truly like hell but with fluorescent lighting.
- Eat on your way to the ER. If they plan to operate they won’t let you eat for at least 24 hours. I ended up at nearly 40 hours between meals.
- Hospital food sucks. You probably already knew that. Breakfast was the only meal that I came close to finishing.
- If offered an IV of morphine, take it! My whole life I have avoided hard drugs but I now understand the appeal of “shooting up.” It’s just like — wham! — you’re higher than you’ve ever been and freaking loving it! I tried to get another dose “for the pain” but they weren’t buying it…
- Do not ever let someone stick an IV in the same spot they would usually take blood (opposite your elbow). For several days and nights I had to keep my arm perfectly straight to avoid choking off the IV. My arm is still sore and I dream of punching that nurse in the face!
- Bring earplugs and a night mask. Of my several nights at the hospital they only dimmed the hall lights once, and only for a couple of hours at that. The irony is that they tell your visitors that rest is an important part of the healing process and then make it impossible to sleep. And should you manage to doze off, someone will appear shortly to wake you up for pills, stats, or blood.
- If someone comes to x-ray your foot, run! I seriously don’t know WTF, but a nice lady showed up in my room twice trying to x-ray my foot. I didn’t get any sleep after that.
What’s most amazing to me about this visit to the hospital is that doctors still haven’t gotten the message that it’s all about Communication, Communication, Communication! Between the pre-op and post-op I had less than 5 minutes face-to-face with my surgeon. Even less with the internist dealing with my other issues.
On the positive side, I’m doing fine. This experience did bring to light some other health issues that I was hoping to ignore for thirty more years… but now that I can’t live in denial any more I am dealing with them. For the immediate future I’m going to slow down my life and try to take better care of myself…
[...] 26 04 2009 I just started going through the paperwork from my hospital stay. The total bill from the hospital for four nights and three days, not including the surgeon, was [...]